Feeling a heavy weight of detachment in me..
It may be just my mood swings.
It could be my pms.
Or it might be just me.
Feels sad..
this sense of detachment..
You cannot move forward..
Nor can you move away from it.
The feeling is not bad,
it is just a strain in me..
I am unable to get things to move along and progress..
It just gets stuck in this limbo state, neither here nor there..
Tried to address it..
But it just does not get resolve somehow, at this point in time..
It feels like an extended and over-stretched rubberband,
Waiting to snap at any moment..
May be things will be placed into their destined positions,
only when the rubberband snapped..
I just hope that everything will be all right and fine when it happens..
Otherwise, I am just a fool believing in my fate and destiny..
Atlas, may be then I would be able to see what I am actually..who I am actually..
~ M. Y. ~
August 14th, 2013
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Friday, August 2, 2013
Check in for the year of 2013..
7 months has past in a blink of an eye for 2013..
And here I am reflecting back on what I had and have done this year so far.
Most of the people I know, they reflect usually at the start or end of the year.
Definitely not in the middle of the year.
Guess I am just weird or abnormal, as usual.
Time just seems to slip past me when I do not keep a lookout for it, or not being aware enough about it.
Days passed everyday, from home to work..
Recently, I just started a course, which takes up more of the leisure time.
Imagine, 5 days work week, sometimes weekends burnt in the process of working..
Amount of work to cover in the office..
2 to 4 days of lectures, depending on the coursework..
Amount of assignments, lectures, quizzes and exams to clear for the modules..
Sometimes I wonder how do I assign enough time to each individual tasks.
Week passed after week, working and studying..
Months move on to the next..
Suddenly, when you stop yourself. A new year has passed.
Just like that.
Surprisingly? Miraculously, I survived another year in my life. *laughs*
That is really a sad way of putting it.
That was my thought till recently...
Once, a friend mentioned about "keeping the brain alive and working, by studying and making it work. Besides just working everyday."
That got me thinking and wanted to do something.
And started the course.
Before I commenced on the course, my days are just work and home.
Randomly, spending time on things which I felt like doing.
Now, besides work, lectures, assignments and coursework take up another portion of my daily life.
You may think that I have lesser time to do my personal stuff.
However, I think that I have become more time manageable. Occupying my daily life more efficient than previously.
With the energy boost which I have everyday now, I can achieve more things.
Good health, staying and eating healthy, it allows me with the energy boost daily.
Following a set of scheduled routine, it makes me to be more time conscious.
Time becomes very precious and making sure that none is lost to doing nothing constructive to me, in my dictionary.
So life has become routine...and I became slightly bored..*laughs*
Yes, so like me...bored when there is a routine to follow. Bored, but I will still continue till the point of "unbearability"...if there is such a word..
After almost 5 years of sabbatical, I think that it is a good time to break the silence..
Start to get to know and meet more people, start to make new friends again.
Rested for 5 years, it should be enough to repair and recuperate what has been lost.
A major part of myself.
Maybe a milestone for myself..in some sense.
This time round, it is a better version of me. A stronger version of me.
Another friend taught me a new perspective in life.
Get out of the damn shell, move on and live life.
Try, else you would not know it.
An additional to mine..
You only live once, live it without regrets..
Do not have regrets to think back on in the future to come..
So I am trying out new perspectives, in my context.
Getting to know and making new friends.
It gives me new ideas to write and think about.
A energy boost in passion to start up again on things which I used to love to do and still do love now..
Certainly, this is a good start.
I hope it will continue on and I can acquire more and new things/perspectives/passion in my life.
Creating and moving my life onto what I want.
Not wasting my life away, and have regrets in the future of what I should have done and not work towards it.
Here goes...until the next time...
And here I am reflecting back on what I had and have done this year so far.
Most of the people I know, they reflect usually at the start or end of the year.
Definitely not in the middle of the year.
Guess I am just weird or abnormal, as usual.
Time just seems to slip past me when I do not keep a lookout for it, or not being aware enough about it.
Days passed everyday, from home to work..
Recently, I just started a course, which takes up more of the leisure time.
Imagine, 5 days work week, sometimes weekends burnt in the process of working..
Amount of work to cover in the office..
2 to 4 days of lectures, depending on the coursework..
Amount of assignments, lectures, quizzes and exams to clear for the modules..
Sometimes I wonder how do I assign enough time to each individual tasks.
Week passed after week, working and studying..
Months move on to the next..
Suddenly, when you stop yourself. A new year has passed.
Just like that.
Surprisingly? Miraculously, I survived another year in my life. *laughs*
That is really a sad way of putting it.
That was my thought till recently...
Once, a friend mentioned about "keeping the brain alive and working, by studying and making it work. Besides just working everyday."
That got me thinking and wanted to do something.
And started the course.
Before I commenced on the course, my days are just work and home.
Randomly, spending time on things which I felt like doing.
Now, besides work, lectures, assignments and coursework take up another portion of my daily life.
You may think that I have lesser time to do my personal stuff.
However, I think that I have become more time manageable. Occupying my daily life more efficient than previously.
With the energy boost which I have everyday now, I can achieve more things.
Good health, staying and eating healthy, it allows me with the energy boost daily.
Following a set of scheduled routine, it makes me to be more time conscious.
Time becomes very precious and making sure that none is lost to doing nothing constructive to me, in my dictionary.
So life has become routine...and I became slightly bored..*laughs*
Yes, so like me...bored when there is a routine to follow. Bored, but I will still continue till the point of "unbearability"...if there is such a word..
After almost 5 years of sabbatical, I think that it is a good time to break the silence..
Start to get to know and meet more people, start to make new friends again.
Rested for 5 years, it should be enough to repair and recuperate what has been lost.
A major part of myself.
Maybe a milestone for myself..in some sense.
This time round, it is a better version of me. A stronger version of me.
Another friend taught me a new perspective in life.
Get out of the damn shell, move on and live life.
Try, else you would not know it.
An additional to mine..
You only live once, live it without regrets..
Do not have regrets to think back on in the future to come..
So I am trying out new perspectives, in my context.
Getting to know and making new friends.
It gives me new ideas to write and think about.
A energy boost in passion to start up again on things which I used to love to do and still do love now..
Certainly, this is a good start.
I hope it will continue on and I can acquire more and new things/perspectives/passion in my life.
Creating and moving my life onto what I want.
Not wasting my life away, and have regrets in the future of what I should have done and not work towards it.
Here goes...until the next time...
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