redono? etiam, sic..

Sometimes I just want to give up..
give up everything..
give up my life..
give up all that I have created in life..
all that I established..
all that I have set up in my life..

cos nothing is worth the effort to..
why have done all these in life?
for what?
for who?
for myself?
no..

for nothing..
cos I do not even have the answer for myself..
I cannot even answer to myself..
what's the use of me living in this world?
what's the point of continuing living?

to be a good daughter to parents and grandparents?
to be a role model to my siblings?
to be a perfect human in the society?
no..
why do I care about all these?
when I do not even know for the fact of who I am..
who is the real me?
what is the real person in me?

it is just like the never-ending song..
the never-ending question that goes on and on like this..
it just goes on and on like this..
it is the never-ending song..
la la la la la la la la la..
so at the end, it is just all craps..fucks..shits..
nothing is right, yet can be wrong when everything all so not right..

30th June 2009
- M. Y. -