Fake happiness..

Happiness is a miracle in life. Something which one dreams of, one hopes for, one wishes for. Attainability depends on the perspectives of one.

But fake happiness is the worst kind of sadness, to experience and portray.

I guess I should be used to disappointments by now. Nothing good would ever come to my cursed life. Everything seems to go downhill every single time. I guess I should give up of searching for that someone to spend the rest of my life with, as that person never exists for me.

Why do I like u? You asked me.
*laughs* I thought only females get insecure n ask this question severals..

Like is a feeling. No reasons when it is  felt.
Connection. I do think that we both have that connection. That is how I feel, maybe not you.
When it comes to you, I cannot help it, but you seem to be on my mind most of the time, besides life and work.
Comfortable. I feel comfortable, am myself, feels like at home when I am with you. No need to pretend. Either you are real to me, or you are really good at pretending or hiding.

I am at the cliff, currently. I hate this feeling. Afraid but curious.

You are standoffish at times, exuberantly passionate at others. It throws me off course. I thought only females do that. apparently you as well.

I am afraid to like you..
So much that I cannot help but like you more than I should.
I am afraid to fall in love with you..
When I do fall in love, it is irrecoverable.
I am afraid to give you my heart..
Because when I do, I have lost mine without yours.
I am afraid to love you..
Because when I love you, I lose myself in you.

This is the cliff I am standing on. Trying hard not to plunge it.
Like I said, honesty doesn't get me anywhere much. I don't play games. But it just me, how I am.
Sorry to bother with so much words.

~ M.Y. ~
January 11th 2014