Want..

Wanting, wishing, hoping...

I want to open my heart and share myself with that special person. Be honest and truthful about everything, who I am, what I am, how I am. Not hiding behind any masks or facade and be who I am, I am weary of wearing the masks, all the time. I just want to be myself, truest form, uninhibited, with you. Please do not leave me unprotected and barenaked to my soul, after I have bared my soul to you. I am putting my soul in your hands.

I want to open my life up to someone else, someone who is close and true to me. Learn and experience how my decisions impact their life and my life. Making decisions together with that special someone, through life's journey.

I want to experience life through someone else’s eyes. Not just anyone, but that special someone close to my heart, who will experience life together with me. Is it you?

I want to feel and experience feelings which I never knew that they existed. I want to fall in love. I want the whole package of feelings. Happiness, pain, sadness, disappointment, ups and downs, good and bad. However, at the end of the day, you will still be there waiting for me, patiently. Telling me everything is fine and you love me no matter what. Allowing me to learn and experience, with you by my side, together.

I want to have conversations with you, that open my eyes to new ideas, gets me thinking about things differently in a whole new different way of perspectives, not just from my views but from yours as well. You intrigue me and push me forward, more than ever.

I want to create and build those inside jokes between us, where the tiniest trip of mind or reminder will bring us back to that special memory or silly moments between us which only both of us will know, all we need is just that one word and we would be on the same page. Like a special secret just between us.

I want to be with that special person who accepts me for who I am, what I am, who I will be growing in life, along with all my shortcomings, flaws, goodness and all. Someone who does not try to change me into somebody else, for who I am not and will not be. If I do change, it is from myself and for the better. Every individual person has their own weird habits and special quirkiness. It is these uniqueness which makes me love you even more.

I want mutual trust from you and me, for us. For companionship between us. For endless support between us. For friendship we create and build. For love built on friendship, between us.

I want stability between us. We can be doing things individually. When we come together, we can be doing things and spending time together. In our lives, we can be doing many things and pursuing goals on our own separately, yet we can also be spending quality time together and doing things together. Both of us have our own things and dreams going on in our lives, but when we are both together, the time is ours together. We have common goals and dreams together as one. Individual as unique separately, but bonded as one when together, like a smooth running engine together as if no missing breaks as our lives go on individually. Together as one, individually.

I want to be confided in, by that special person. It lets me feel important and trusted enough to have you seek for advice from me. It lets me feel involved in your life and different aspects in your perspectives. That somehow I can be your confidante, someone who can share your innermost thoughts and secrets, as mine to yours.

I want to share an adventure together with that special someone, you. We explore this beautiful world together, making new memories together, whereby only we can share and reminisce on as part of us.

I want to share my life, together with that special person. I want to grow in life, live life, love life together with you.

I want to share my thoughts, perspectives, thinkings, concerns, challenges, hopes and dreams in life. My deepest and darkest fantasies. Together with that special someone who can appreciate, share them with me. Be it my innermost ones buried in the abyss of my heart.

I want that look. The special one look which I know what you are thinking and want to say to me, without you saying it physically. Just our eyes contact with each other, it can make my heart excited and grow hundred times in size. The same look can make me melt like chocolate, all at once.

I want that spark. When you reach for my hand and leans in for a kiss, my blood runs overdrive and heart jumps to my throat. Words jumble in my mind and get stuck in my mouth. I can feel the chemistry runs through our vein as we touch. Connection in our minds.

I want a relationship, which is created upon many different layers, we connect on levels emotionally, mentally, intellectually and physically.

I want a relationship with happy surprises, such as flowers without reasons, a night out on a spontaneous date, a adventitious trip together.

I want a relationship which is filled with laughter and joy, where we laugh so much and so hard that it hurts, with tears rolling down our faces wildly.

I want a future, where I can see us together in our life journeys for many years to come from this moment onwards, and still feel confident and sanguine in this relationship which we have between us.

I want to feel like I matter to someone. That I am important to someone. That I belong to someone. That I can be a priority to someone. You.

I want to be with that special someone who can be cheered up by me, and me to you, as we hold each other in tears and joy. To hold each other through good and bad times.

I want to make that special someone, laugh and smile with happiness, you want to be around me, always.

I want this special person to be included in my life, and include me in yours.

I want to accept that warm bear hug, the kind which I never want to be removed from your arms ever. I want to stay there forever as long as I can.

And I want love.

I want the "forget-to-breathe heart-pulsating butterflies-flying-around-in-my-stomach cannot-live-without-you" kind of love.

Are you that special someone for me?

~ M.Y. ~

February 22nd 2014

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

February 15th: This is a particularly difficult piece to write. I think it will take me sometime to complete this piece. Occupies my mind from P.

February 21st: 7 days, I am still working on it.

February 22nd: finally completed.