dreams..

What ever happened to chasing our dreams??
Looking at people around me..
are they really chasing after their dreams..
or they are just blindly chasing after things they thought that were their dreams..

Fame, wealth, material possessions..
are the so-called dreams that people chased after all these times..
are we a fat lot of pathetic bitches and bastards??
or maybe these are what we are actually after..

The world has evolved so much..
changing so much..
for good or worse..
who are we to say?
have we really been blinded after all?

Have we lost who we really are?
Have been polluted by the society?
polluted by all the funky things which we have been exposed to?
Who can we fault?
No one but ourselves..
who allows ourselves to fall into the traps of these vicious evils!!

Oh man..one will think that here is another crazy fellow trying to write and preach whatever shitholes..
Hey man, it is fine by me for u saying that..
But don't you agree with me for all I have written above..
for all the craps I wrote above, believe me, they are from the deepest hole in your heart, if you ever think deep enough..

Sorry, for this late night revelation..
thoughts just hit me as Snow Patrol's "Chasing Cars" playing in my headphones..
Just it sounds so right and so deem fit for now..
What are we really chasing for and what are we really chasing about?

Juan

Chasing Cars..Snow Patrol..

"Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol..



We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Never Think..

I should never think
What's in your heart
What's in our home
It's all I want

You'll learn to hate me
But still you call me baby
Oh Love
So call me by my name

And save your soul
save your soul
Before you're too far gone
Before nothing can be done

I'll try to decide where
She'll lie in the end
I ain't got no fight in me
In this whole damn world
Tell you to hold off
You choose to hold on
It's the one thing that I've known

Once I put my coat on
I'm coming out of this all wrong
She's standing outside holding me
Saying oh please
I'm in love
I'm in love

Girl save your soul
Go on save your soul
Before it's too far gone
And before nothing can be done

'Cause without me
You got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Hold on

- Robert Pattison -

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
sad..but somehow true in certain senses..real..
melodramatically haunting..lingering in the mind..soul..
looking around this world..friends..families..strangers..I questioned myself..

Where am I?
Where are you?
Will we ever meet?
Will we ever be together as one?

Will you ever be able to find me in this vast world?
Will I ever be able to find you?
Will there ever be a you for me?
Will there ever be a me for you?

Will I ever belong to you?
Will you ever belong to me?
Will there ever be a us?
Will there be a you waiting for me at that end?

I have no answer for any of the questions..
I have only myself..
just myself..
only myself in my sad lonely world..

- M. Y. -
27th January 2008

Sad hauntingly beautiful melody..

Have been kanashii for days..
pretending that nothing has ever happened on the outside..
sadness has been entering my heart deep inside..
tears wet my face nightly just to sleep..

Time will heal all wounds, they say..
certainly do hope so..
certainly pray that to happen so..
do not what else can be done anymore..

Just like the mood the song that is playing in my ears..
demo ne..nothing will happen anymore..
ever since I know the truth..
I tried to ignore the fact..

I tried to pretend I do not know anything about it..
I tried to think that you might look in a different light..
but deep down inside, I know it will not happen that way..
I am just a friend to thee..

Therefore, I am giving up..
I have given up the hope..
I have banished the thoughts of you into the deepest valley in my heart..
pretending that I am just your tomodachi..

However, it still pains when I see you..
it makes my heart aches..
it frustrates me by the thought..
it tortures me every single second..

How I wish I can turn back the time to before I even meet you..
How I wish I can go back way before I meet you..
How I wish I can just never meet you..
Really, you have left many memories in my mind that pains me to even try to forget them..

If I can wish..
I would want to go back to before I meet you..
maybe in that way..
I won't have to be this sad and pain at this point in time..

I do not know how long I can endure this pain..
I do not know how long I can take this sadness..
before I collapse in misery..
before I totally surrender to this sadness..

Just hope that time will heal my wound..
just hope that this will let me forget all the memories with you..
just hope that time will let everything be forgotten..
just hope that time will bury this love..

- M. Y. -
3rd July 2006

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
from long time ago..
the pain sadness emo seem to fitting to my current mood..
currently just a walking masked zombie..
kokoro kanashii..as one grows older, it gets harder to forget certain things, cuts deeper wounds than before, gets more painful..greater impact, makes one sadder more..and takes longer time to heal..
guess, time to get used to it..
listening to the sad hauntingly beautiful melody by Iron & Wine - Flightless Bird, American Mouth

sadness..

Sad as I wrote this,
feeling all alone in this world,
as now you are not around me,
sadness that tore my heart apart..

Funnily this feeling should not exist,
never should be there in the first place..
cos you are not what you are,
and I am not what I am..

Taste bitter like the first taste of the coffee,
sad like the coffee drowns the heart in..
Sweetness that touches the heart,
feelings undescribable by just human words..

So sad just so sad,
nothing else encompasses this lonely heart,
except loneliness arouses by the sadness,
inability to feel anything else, just it..

No more was said,
nothing left to feel,
only a pool of sadness,
left at the bottom of the heart..

Words no longer exchange,
feelings no longer communicate,
everything just ended,
everything just stop in its own path..

Left on its own,
undisturbed no more,
like the night enfolds its darkness over all,
like speaking to the deaf..

Sad,
loneliness,
feelings,
all drown in the big dark room..

- M. Y. -
3rd August 2001

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
seemingly appropriate for now..

Flightless bird, American mouth..

I was a quick wet boy..
Diving too deep for coins..
All of your straight blind eyes..
Wide on my plastic toys..
And when the cops closed the fair..
I cut my long baby hair..
Stole me a dog-eared map..
And called for you everywhere..

Have I found you?
Flightless bird, jealous, weeping..
Or lost you?
American mouth..
Big bill looming..

Now I’m a fat house cat..
Cursing my sore blunt tongue..
Watching the warm poison rats..
Curl through the wide/white fence cracks..
Kissing on magazine photos..
Those fishing lures thrown in the cold and clean..
Blood of Christ mountain stream..

Have I found you?
Flightless bird, brown hair bleeding..
Or lost you?
American mouth..
Big bill, stuck going down..

- Iron & Wine -

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
hauntingly beautiful, depressing sad love song..
just perfectly emo..for my state of mind and emotions currently..

似曾相識...

ohh~ 似曾相識

那一瞥 人潮如海的街 和妳擦身而過 有些恍神一再回頭
她發現 我的心不在焉 我卻無法解釋是誰 亂了我生活

該怎麼做才能把回憶都刪除 那錯過的幸福 我像跌入迷霧
遇見妳有種似曾相識的感覺 ohh 彷彿有同樣感受在妳的眼底 ohh
能不能讓我們再相遇 能不能讓我再次認識妳 似曾相識有如遊戲

wuu~ 似曾相識 yeahh~

那一瞥 陷入妳的世界 和妳擦身而過 卻忘了要往那裡走
她感覺 我的心看不見 我該怎麼解釋是妳 亂了我生活

該怎麼做才能把回憶都刪除 那錯過的幸福 我像跌入迷霧
遇見妳有種似曾相識的感覺 ohh 我看見同樣的感受在妳眼底 ohh
能不能讓我們再相遇 能不能讓我再次認識妳 似曾相識有如遊戲

遇見妳有種似曾相識的感覺 ohh 是否在前世我們有一段過去 ohh
能不能這次改變命運 能不能這次讓我真的愛妳 還是往事別再提起 yeahh~

似曾相識 似曾相識 ohh~ wuu~ yeahh~

遇見妳有種似曾相識的感覺 ohh 是否在前世我們有一段過去 ohh
能不能幫我把妳忘記 能不能幫我停下對妳追尋 或許我能不再想妳

遇見妳有種似曾 見妳有種 似曾相識的感覺

- 陶喆 -

cant be bothered anymore..life..

everyone live their life as they thought it is supposed to be..
without any thoughts about it, be it goals or dreams..
of whether should it be like this or that..
just like daily routine robots..

nobody stop to ask..
should one's life be boring and mundane like this..
day in day out..
doing the same old stuff..

till the end of time..
till the day you die..
till one fine day you are awaken..
finally you realize that you are not living your life as you should be..

what is the meaning of life?
I once asked myself and went searching for it..
I once found the true meaning of my life, long time ago..
but it left me broken into million pieces, betrayed like a dagger straight to the heart, abandoned like a homeless dog and loss of trust in another, at the very end..

so what does this mean..
what does the meaning of life mean..
what is the meaning of life..
ultimately, meaning of life = broken?
should one still search for the true meaning of life?

- M.Y. -
28th December 2008

lost..

kinda lost in the reality world..
kinda lost in the emotional world..
feeling lost about everything..
feeling lost in life itself..

lost my only companion, BooBuu the monkey..
lost myself to emotions..
lost to the real world..
lost to everything in life..

everything seems mundane..
everyday seems monotonous..
everything seems boring..
life seems boring..

cant be bothered about rudeness..
cant be bothered about shyness..
cant be bothered about anything..
cant be bothered about everything anymore..

bored about life itself..
bored about everything in life..
lost, bored, disheartening and sad about life itself..
sighs..

- M.Y. -
27th December 2008$

poem once again..finally..

to like or to dislike, is simple..
to love or to hate, is never easy..
life as it is..
love is as such..

how to measure love..
how to qualify life..
love is life..
as life is love itself..

who can tell me what love is..
how does love and life begin separately, yet become as one..
lost both before..
will I be abandoned once again like before, when I needed someone the most..

to believe or not to believe..
to trust or not to trust..
betrayed..
abandoned..

can I still believe or trust it again?
promises once made were broken..
life is love..
love is life..

- M.Y.-
25th December 2008