Reconciliation..

I am trying to reconcile my mind, body and soul, with the perceived reality.

The mind is hovering borderline insanity towards madness, in the realm of reality. Everything seems so real yet surreal. What is real? What is fantasy? Who can define? Who has the rights to? Do you? Do I?

Maybe the mind is slowly withering to that dark corner at the back of the room. Hiding oneself from everybody and everything. Refusing to relate to anyone or anything at all. Shutting down its process, like the off switch of the mainframe. End of life service.

The body is alienating all. Water, food, air and the five senses. Seems like on a strike for something, against another.

Feel or sense, abstain from it and avoid all human contacts, not wanting to feel another warmth, afraid of it as human touch lingers in memory and stays with you for life. Sight or vision, seeing is believing, one can define the actuality of that one thing with sight. Taste or savour, once you experienced the taste of ambrosia, you will never settle for anything lesser, not worse or better, just different. Smell or scent, it is just like a lover's warmth, it is remembered once it is registered in your olfactory system, unforgettable, painful to erase. Melody or hear, hallucination is the illusion of sound, what I hear in my brain might be real or unreal, what I hear from others may be fake, it is all in the mind.

Reconciliation up against its mortal enemy, alienation. Survivor takes it all. Winner takes it all. None is left for the contender.

~ M.Y. ~
December 12th 2013