Finally..

Finally, the tsunami of sadness is here.
Waves after waves of tears hit me hard.
Crashes all facets of masks, in my world.
The dam broke.
Destroyed all levels of barriers, once again.

Twice bitten, same stupid stupid act.
Two lives suffered, one died.
Kinda my fault.
Cos of my abnormality in life.

Grandmama, I am sorry.
I caused you your death.
Mum, I am sorry.
I caused you your injury.

I am so sorry.
With my cursed life.
I brought fatalities to the family.

I guess I deserved it all.
All retributions, bad consequences and karmas.
I am who I am.
Change is not what I meant to be.
Ambiguity is me.

Maybe all should end with me.
As all were started by me.
All should be bore by me.

Please do not punish all those around me.
Punish me instead.
As I am the one who should be blamed and tortured instead.
Punish me, not those who I love.
They are not the ones who have sinned.
If anyone is to be called the sinner, I am the sinnest of all.
Take my life, exile me to the ends of the earth, banish me to the darkest of hell.
Never to live, reincarnate or return to life.
No chance should be given again, as I am unworthy of any.
For I am the one who caused it all.
For I am the one who did wrong to all.
I should not be given a heart to love.
I should not be given a life to live.

So be it.
Bore by me.
Cease from me.
End with me.
This is it.

~ M.Y. ~
November 28th 2013