Winter sadness..

If your mind isn't clouded by unnecessary things, this is the best season of your life. Probably. Most likely. I guess so. But at this moment, I can not feel any much, numb or rather brain and body can not process any. The body and brain feels like torn apart in different reams of worlds.

With the impending issue of my mum's sudden hospitalization, due to an accident last night. With her hip bone cracked and screw in place. Rough times spell for the family.

I am basically running on my minimum spare reserves of whatever is left in me, shuttering between office and hospital this weekend and for the next few days. I guess..for the months to come.

Only managed to catch winks of 2 hours in the last 36 hours. Insomnia for the past week. Averaging 3-4 hours. I wonder if my body will give way, rsooner or later. *sad laughs*

Maybe I seems to be complaining. I just need an outlet to say it. Do not mind me. I just need to say it.

Things will get better, I hope. For God so love his children, my mum loves him. He will protect her and make her better. I can only pray for the best, and God will keep her safe and get better. *sighs*

It has been a rough week and a worrying night. My heart freaking out. My brain overdrives. Work is busy as always and with the sudden high influx, along with my mum's and class. My being is split into 3, with no spare energy for myself. No time to be alone, think and recover from the loss. *sighs*

Physical stress, I can endure..as much as I can before I break. Mentality, I am currently being put under test. A tug-of-wat tension, stress in my mind. The mind is trying to overcome a lot of things at the same time. Overloaded, I am sensing a red alert coming, from my body. I am just hoping and holding onto the last breath of it passing, without calling out the red alarm.

I cannot break now. I have to hang on.

Seeing the workers putting up all the Christmas decorations, can not help but think that this is most probably one of a worst one in my 3-score years which I have lived. Besides the childhood ones which I suffered from.

This is raw and unedited version for the past week and days, of how I feel.

Writing is my only sanity now.

~ M.Y.~
November 24th 2013