Acceptance..

Liking someone is easy.
The hard part is accepting that person as who he or she is, and love him or her for who they are, they want to be and they will be.

~ M.Y. ~
November 30th 2013

Sunday Afternoon..Rachael Yamagata..

Sunday Afternoon by Rachael Yamagata

It's a choice to stay
It's a dream yeah and I wanna wake
You have blood on your hands and I'm feeling faint
And honey yeah, you can't decide

I'm a drug you don't wanna give up
Smoke your cigarette and make your love flow
You poured blood in my heart, I can't get enough
I'm drowning and you can't decide

It's not about geography or happenstance
You need to fly and take a chance
You don't need to soar to emptiness
And float on high and forever dance alone
You're scared 'cause I feel like home

I hear your voice and I knew right away
If you were here what your eyes would say
I have blood on my feet as I walk away
Rivers are red, it's starting to rain

I'm not gonna live for you or die for you
Won't do anything anymore for you
Because you leave me here on the other side
You leave me here on the other side

I won't live for you or die for you
Won't do anything anymore for you
Because you leave me here on the other side
Oh, you leave me here on the other side

I won't live for you or die for you
Do anything, anymore for you
Because you leave me here on the other side
Oh, you leave me here on the other side

I won't live for you or die for you
Do anything anymore for you
Because you leave me here on the other side
You leave me here on the other side

I won't live for you or die for you
Won't do anything anymore for you

I'm not gonna shed one more tear for you
Shed one more tear for you
I'm not gonna shed one more tear for you
At least not 'til Sunday afternoon, Sunday afternoon

November 30th 2013

Reason Why..Rachael Yamagata..

Reason Why by Rachael Yamagata

I think about how it might have been
We'd spend out days travelin'
It's not that I don't understand you
It's not that I don't want to be with you
But you only wanted me
The way you wanted me

So, I will head out alone and hope for the best
And we can hang out heads down
As we skip the goodbyes
And you can tell the world what you want them to hear
I've got nothing left to lose, my dear
So, I'm up for the little white lies
But you and I know the reason why
I'm gone, and you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there

I'll buy a magazine searching for your face
From coast to coast, or whatever I find my place
I'll track you on the radios, and
I'll sign your list in a different name
But as close as I come to you
It's not the same

So, I will head out alone and hope for the best
We can pat ourselves on the back
As say that we tried
And if one of us makes it big
We can spill our regrets
And talk about how the love never dies
But you and I know the reason why
I'm gone, and you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there

So, steal the show, and do your best
To cover the tracks that I have left
I wish you well and hope you find
Whatever you're looking for
The way I might've changed my mind,
But you only showed my the door

So, I will head out alone and hope for the best
We can pat ourselves on the back
And say that we tried
And if one of us makes it big
We can spill our regrets
And talk about how the love never dies
But you and I, you and I know the reason why

November 30th 2013

You Take My Troubles Away..Rachael Yamagata & Dan Wilson..

You Take My Troubles Away by Rachael Yamagata & Dan Wilson

and so now we begin
calling on the fortunate son
stand tall taking everything in
gliding with the feathers you've won
i cant live dreaming of a future alone
hold tight please don't let the memory go

(Chorus)
you take my troubles away
you take my sirens away
you keep my sorrows at bay
take it all, take it all away

you take my running? away
you take my battles away
you take my breath away
take it all, take it all away

old words when theres so much to tell
and i dont know when i'll be there again
in life, when youre driven away
will you recognize the one who returns
sweet one the beauty that you are in the dawn
dear love all i ask is that you hold on

(chorus)

you take my running away
you take my battles away
you take my breath away
take it all, take it all away (x5)

November 30th 2013

Constant loneliness

One is always in constant perpetual loneliness, as long you are not connected with someone. In mind, soul, heart or frequency. Be it friends, family, loved ones or even a perfect stranger next to you.

~ M.Y. ~
November 30th 2013

Saturday Morning..Rachael Yamagata..

Saturday Morning by Rachael Yamagata

It's Saturday morning and we got off late
Baby, I've been missing you in the strongest place
All other days of the week have come down to this
Just kiss me, we'll be okay

There's no one around here that I would miss
Mad, if you were away

It's a little, it's a little luck, it's a little so oh, oh, oh, what
It's a little, it's a little love, it's a little love for what we've got
It's another day to start making up
Oh baby, just look how lucky we got

Saturday morning and we got no other place to be
Baby, when you're lying in my arms we seem to fit so perfectly
Oh honey, honey, please just stay right next to me
Maybe we could do this other day of the week

It's a little, it's a little luck, it's a little so oh, oh, oh, what
It's a little, it's a little love, it's a little love for what we've got
It's another day to start making up
Oh baby, just look how lucky we got

And it's a little, it's a little luck, it's a little so oh, oh, oh, what
It's a little, it's a little love, it's a little love for what we've got

It's a little, it's a little luck, it's a little so oh, oh, oh, what
It's a little, it's a little love, it's a little love for what we have got
It's another day to start making up
Oh baby, just look how lucky we are

How lucky we are
How lucky we are

November 30th 2013

Daily inspiration..#54..

Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.

~ Benjamin Franklin

Daily inspiration..#53..

Present fears are less than horrible imaginings.

~ William Shakespeare

Daily inspiration..#52..

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.

~ Henry David Thoreau

Daily inspiration..#51..

Learn to hold loosely all that is not eternal.

~ A. Maude Royden

Finally..

Finally, the tsunami of sadness is here.
Waves after waves of tears hit me hard.
Crashes all facets of masks, in my world.
The dam broke.
Destroyed all levels of barriers, once again.

Twice bitten, same stupid stupid act.
Two lives suffered, one died.
Kinda my fault.
Cos of my abnormality in life.

Grandmama, I am sorry.
I caused you your death.
Mum, I am sorry.
I caused you your injury.

I am so sorry.
With my cursed life.
I brought fatalities to the family.

I guess I deserved it all.
All retributions, bad consequences and karmas.
I am who I am.
Change is not what I meant to be.
Ambiguity is me.

Maybe all should end with me.
As all were started by me.
All should be bore by me.

Please do not punish all those around me.
Punish me instead.
As I am the one who should be blamed and tortured instead.
Punish me, not those who I love.
They are not the ones who have sinned.
If anyone is to be called the sinner, I am the sinnest of all.
Take my life, exile me to the ends of the earth, banish me to the darkest of hell.
Never to live, reincarnate or return to life.
No chance should be given again, as I am unworthy of any.
For I am the one who caused it all.
For I am the one who did wrong to all.
I should not be given a heart to love.
I should not be given a life to live.

So be it.
Bore by me.
Cease from me.
End with me.
This is it.

~ M.Y. ~
November 28th 2013

I Want To Belong To You..Katie Herzig..

I Want To Belong To You by Katie Herzig

Have I ever seen such kindness
Such resigned delight all in one glance
Right when you pass me
I watch, you see
You smile, I breathe
Air in my chest
I’m trying my best

The sun left me so quickly
I am stuck under the moon
I want to belong to you

I pray no one will find you
I’ll stay right where I am
‘Til you come back
Don’t let me lose you
Before there’s a chance to begin

Suddenly light on my feet
With a sweet rearrange of the day
Everything’s changed now

One quick exchange
It’s not the same
Kind of goodbye
Gone with a sigh

The sun left me so quickly
I am stuck under the moon
I want to belong to you

I pray no one will find you
I’ll stay right where I am
‘Til you come back
Don’t let me lose you
Before there’s a chance to begin

I wanna belong to you

I pray no one will find you
I’ll stay right where I am
‘Til you come back
Don’t let me lose you
Before there’s a chance to begin

Wish You Well..Katie Herzig..

Wish You Well by Katie Herzig

I, I want to wish you well
I didn’t watch you go
Cause I suppose I don’t know how
I, I will remember you
Not the way you left but how you lived
And what you knew

I, I want to feel your hands
I want to feel your fire burning
Right from where I stand

I’ll find my way
Cause you showed me how

I, I want to know it’s you
When I hear your voice inside my head
Inside my room
I, want to touch the sky
I want to see the stars twinkle
Like they were your eyes

I’ll find my way
You showed me
I’ll find my way
Cause you showed me how

I, I want to smell your scent
I want to breathe the air I did before
Before you left

I, I want to wish you well
The only reason my heart beats
Is cause you showed it how

I’ll find my way
You show me
I’ll find my way
You show me
I’ll find my way
Cause you showed me how
You show me how
You showed me how

Let You Go..Katie Herzig..

Let You Go by Katie Herzig

You might find love
It might find you
It might take every piece of you
It takes your breath
It takes your heart
It can take your world apart
To let you go
It takes my soul

I wished you here
I wished so hard
I wished your smile in the dark
You came for me
You came so true
You gave me all this hope to lose
And now to know
You have to go
It takes my soul

But I’ll take pain to know this love
To feel alive
To feel enlightened
I would rather take the fall
Than to never love at all
I’ll take pain to know this love
To feel alive
To feel enlightened
I would rather take the fall
Than to never love at all

But now I know
You can go
Now I know
I’ll let you go

I’ll take pain to know this love
To feel alive
To feel enlightened
I would rather take the fall
Than to never love at all
I’ll take pain to know this love
To feel alive
To feel enlightened
I would rather take the fall
Than to never love at all

Daily inspiration..#50..

It is only when you have loved before, you will understand the sadness, feel the pain and know what it is, to lose it.
~ M.Y.

Bruised..

The winter has passed. The snow melted. Ice became river, flowing through the streams and valleys, going from places to places. Carefree, endless, never-ending. Wandering without a care in the world. Aimlessly it may seems, but it does have the big oceans as its goal. Blue, green, clear, murky, fresh, sea, salty, dark, full of life, shimmering, still, eerie, calm, skinny dip, swimming.

And the spring has come. Life restarts once again. Life becomes alive yet again, every new spring come. Flowers bloom in brilliant colours everywhere. Making this world a better and beautiful place to live in. Young green buds sprouting everywhere, bringing new life at every turn you see.

I have withered. Yes. Literally died off. Ever since I said it. Ever since I gave the truth to you. It died off from your rejection. The heart pierced and shattered into millions of pieces. Blood overflows from the lines. Instead of clear liquid, fresh blood pools of reds cover me. Not even putting them together like jigsaw puzzles, could mend it again. Another abandonment. Another end of story. This short story ended before it could even form a sentence. Promptly erased all previous records, by you single-handedly. Like you just said, uncomfortable.

And my heart is bruised from longing. Attack after one another, wave after wave crashes against the break barrier, eroding away any form of defense, weakening each and every line of cracks. Purple, black, blue, green, yellow, array of ugly brilliance colours appearing on my heart. No matter how much time. It still hurt like a bitch. Pulls the nerve that entwined around me, my soul. Fraying my last control of my senses, my mind. Surviving like a walking dead on the earth, a vampire roaming the dead of the night endlessly, in search of the Bride.

~ M.Y. ~
November 26th 2013

A big hole..

Feels a big emptiness eating away in me.
Boring a hole right through my heart.
Swallowing the entirety of my soul.
A loss incomparable to words.
A darkness which does not seem to end.

The top does not stop spinning itself, it just keeps going on and on non-stop. I cannot stop it. I am being tied to its endless twirling. Pulling me along tightly, grips and latches onto me like vines. Drowning in the deep abyssal of the dark ocean. Choking without any breath, nothing.

Nothing to hold on for life.
Free fall.
Darkness right in front of me, blind, not even my own hand.

I am so tired. Just wanted to rest. Give into the darkness. Without any care in this world.

Tears roll down from my eyes. Funny. I did not even realize it until it trickles onto my hands. Then the sudden eruption of sadness blooms straight into my heart. Hell broken loose. Sadness engulfs my entire being, frozen in the state of ice. Nothing seems to be able to contain it. It just keeps on emitting, radiating sadness from cell to skin, heart to soul. Unstoppable sadness.

Tired.
Just very tired.
Physically exhausted, only four and half hours of winks in the last 72 hours of awakeness.
Mentally drained, too many things to deal with, but my own.
Soul broken, torn apart, by you.

It should not be this way.
It should not have happened.
Why?
Why does the heart not listen?
Why does the soul get ensnare by you?

I just want give myself up in the freefall. Spell into the pain. My heart seems to be dug out fresh and still beating from my chest cavity. Squeeze bled dry by your bare naked hands, like a soulless murderer.

~ M.Y. ~
November 25th 2013

Quiet..Rachael Yamagata..

Quiet by Rachael Yamagata

Baby says I can't come with him
And I had read all of this in his eyes
Long before he even said so
Why go, I asked
You know and I know why
And it'll be just as quiet when I leave
As it was when I first got here
I don't expect anything
I don't expect anything

Take care
I've been hurt before
Too much time spend on closing doors
You may hate me, but I'll remember to love you
Goodbye
Don't cry
You know why
And it'll be just as quiet when I leave
As it was when I first got here
I don't expect anything
I don't expect anything

All the waves of blame arrange as broken scenery
As they steal your best memories away
What if I was someone different in your only history?
Would you feel the same
As I walk out the door
Never to see your face again
Never to see your face again

And it'll be just as quiet when I leave
As it was when I first got here
It'll be just as quiet when I leave
As it was when I first got here
I don't expect anything
I don't expect anything
I don't expect anything
I don't expect anything
I don't expect anything
I don't expect anything to change when I leave

Winter sadness..

If your mind isn't clouded by unnecessary things, this is the best season of your life. Probably. Most likely. I guess so. But at this moment, I can not feel any much, numb or rather brain and body can not process any. The body and brain feels like torn apart in different reams of worlds.

With the impending issue of my mum's sudden hospitalization, due to an accident last night. With her hip bone cracked and screw in place. Rough times spell for the family.

I am basically running on my minimum spare reserves of whatever is left in me, shuttering between office and hospital this weekend and for the next few days. I guess..for the months to come.

Only managed to catch winks of 2 hours in the last 36 hours. Insomnia for the past week. Averaging 3-4 hours. I wonder if my body will give way, rsooner or later. *sad laughs*

Maybe I seems to be complaining. I just need an outlet to say it. Do not mind me. I just need to say it.

Things will get better, I hope. For God so love his children, my mum loves him. He will protect her and make her better. I can only pray for the best, and God will keep her safe and get better. *sighs*

It has been a rough week and a worrying night. My heart freaking out. My brain overdrives. Work is busy as always and with the sudden high influx, along with my mum's and class. My being is split into 3, with no spare energy for myself. No time to be alone, think and recover from the loss. *sighs*

Physical stress, I can endure..as much as I can before I break. Mentality, I am currently being put under test. A tug-of-wat tension, stress in my mind. The mind is trying to overcome a lot of things at the same time. Overloaded, I am sensing a red alert coming, from my body. I am just hoping and holding onto the last breath of it passing, without calling out the red alarm.

I cannot break now. I have to hang on.

Seeing the workers putting up all the Christmas decorations, can not help but think that this is most probably one of a worst one in my 3-score years which I have lived. Besides the childhood ones which I suffered from.

This is raw and unedited version for the past week and days, of how I feel.

Writing is my only sanity now.

~ M.Y.~
November 24th 2013

Outlook for me today..

I am not my mistakes. I can't do this alone or pretend any more. The illusion of comfort in denial or sacrifice is no longer mine. There is no shame in my suffering, no healing in silent self-torment. It is here at the surreal crossroads of the "soul search" where dawning truth meets the anguish of overwhelming resistance in mind over matter that I can finally wake up, change my mind, let go of what no longer works or own my losses or choices. I am empowered by intense acknowledgment or epiphany and my virtue is gratitude or relief in recognition.
~ Daily Tarot November 23rd 2013

Bedshaped..Keane..

Bedshaped by Keane

Many's the time I ran with you down
The rainy roads of our old town
Many the lives we lived in each day
And buried altogether
Don't laugh at me
Don't look away

You'll follow me back
With the sun in your eyes
And on your own
Bedshaped
And legs of stone
You'll knock on my door
And up we'll go
In white light
I don't think so
But what do I know?
What do I know?
I know!

I know you think I'm holding you down
And I've fallen by the wayside now
And I don't understand the same things as you
But I do
Don't laugh at me
Don't look away

You'll follow me back
With the sun in your eyes
And on your own
Bedshaped
And legs of stone
You'll knock on my door
And up we'll go
In white light
I don't think so
But what do I know?
What do I know?
I know!

And up we'll go
In white light
I don't think so
But what do I know?
What do I know?
I know!

So I guess this is it.. my last note to L...

L: Seriously, you have been acting weird since I left for KL and frankly speaking, it's making me feel uncomfortable. Trying to be honest here.

*sad laughs* seems like I have been pegged by you, as a weirdo. I believe that I have told you before that I am an abnormal individual with weird personality. Honestly, at this point, I do not really care much further. It's all right. No worries. I understand. You would not be comfortable with this friend here further.

So I guess this is it. To me, I do not mean it as a finale, nor I am saying goodbye, as I still value our friendship to this point. If you decide so, so be it. I am not going force anything. However, I have had enough of this silence. If you decide to continue with it, so be it, I cannot be the sole one trying to bridge the communication when communication is a two-way street. You chose this and called it quits. I have tried to reach out to you several times, but it seems useless. It is draining to keep trying to reach out when you do not respond at all. The ball is now in your court. I still consider you as a friend and value this friendship.

Disagreements, quarrels...and silence treatment.. How matured we are. Are we still 3?

Guess you do not have the physical energy or mental energy to deal with such a difficult person, like me. Neither do you have the time to. Difficult person am I? I am actually simple to deal with, besides the brain thinking part.

I wonder, why is it that things changed and deteriorated, even before this disagreement. I understand that you have a lot to deal with. But why the sudden change? If you do notice and realized that things actually started to change over the last 1 month. For better or worse, honestly I do not know, it could be better or worse in my perspective. Maybe not yours. Ambiguity between us seems to exist. I felt it. Maybe you did or not. You might think that I am sensitive. Yes, I am the sensitive type. This is me. And? It is wrong?

I understand because of your working lifestyle and it is the nature of the industry. I do not blame you, as it is similar in mine. It is either "break it" or "lose it" working lifestyle in my industry. I have accepted it long ago. But it does not mean that I agree with it, or does it give me or you the reason for disintegrating our life. We live our life, not our work. Remember "Live Life" and "Love Life"? I am tired as well, I search in life, for that energy support to sustain or energize my life. I am still searching. Hopeful and wishing for it. It could be from myself, family, friends or passion.

I am tired of being and staying on a negative note with another person for so long. I am not the type to stay angry or in disagreement with another for long periods of time. I do not like it. I do not like anger, hate or anything negative. I do not like conflicts in my personal life, when I am already dealing with conflicts and providing solutions daily at work. It is draining physically and mentally, and it does not make much sense to be this way. I would rather work disagreements out face-to-face and carry on in life. It is wasting precious time when I can use it more meaningful to create more memories with that person. There are so much more things to explore, know, learn and experience in life. I am borderlining insomnia and surviving on 3-4 hours of sleep these days, so ya, I am tired.

I will miss much of our shared conversations, messagings, differences in opinions, snarky remarks, sarcasms, mewlings pictures, random pictures of different sorts, late night movies, hangouts, walks, museum visits, screenings, Arab street, pho and memories, of all that we have done. Maybe these do not mean much or anything to you even. *sad laughs* However, they will be kept precious by me. As you have decided to ignore me since 4 days ago after our disagreed conversation, or rather messages. Even though I have tried to reach out to you for the past few days.

What I will miss most, is you and your companionship.

On last Saturday, when you saved the crow from the busy road, even though it had already died by the time you cradled in your hand. It was a saddening scene, seeing the crow died before it could be rescued and ran over twice literally right in front of my eyes, it has actually kind of killed me at that point. However, your action of saving it, it warms my heart and put it right somehow. To think that someone is actually brave enough to do that, I have witnessed such a scene myself, I think my heart just melted literally. Though I was worried about your safety versus the oncoming bus, keeping a lookout for you.

How weird it is. We just spent a short time as friends together. Much memories have been created, and they are treasured by me. It is very sad to see it deteriorated and wasted away. So this is how fragile our friendship is. I dislike this fragility.

In all honesty, yes, I like you, more than a friend. I realized this when you went away during your last trip to Malaysia. I know that you are unavailable in this department, which is why I kept quiet about these things. Seeing that this most likely will be my last writing to you, as you have chosen to ignore me and probably gave up on this friendship. I see pointless hiding or keeping quiet anymore. I like your quirkiness, your intellectual, your beautiful mind and interesting things or facts which you remember, your way of making your point, your way of thinking, thoughts and who you are. I like you for who you are and will be. Who you are and will be, attracted me and still do. As I learnt more about you, I found that you are an interesting individual in my life.

Thank you for the many things you showed and enlightened me for the past 5 months. I have learnt much from you and about you. Thank you for all the memories. Thank you for your friendship and your friends whom I got to know. Good luck in life. Be truly happy. Hopefully someday you will be feeling better, time heals all wounds, so they say. You do not have to smile when you do not feel it, remember that I said this before. Your smile does not reach your eyes when you force it. The spark is not in your eyes. I see those. Smile when you really feel it. Laugh when you truly feel it.

At this point, if you feel that this is vindictive or emotion blackmail or more. I am unable to care much. Reason being, with your silence treatment, do you not think that is vindictive as well? In fact, I think it is much worse than vindictive. It is outright ostracism and rude in some ways. It is harsher than anything, to me. All in all, I am tired of being ignored with the silence treatment. If you feel that this is the right way to deal with things and friends, I have no further qualms, except to agree with you that you definitely do have low EQ when dealing with people, with all due respect. I am not faulting you on that, in fact this is who you are, and I accept it as part of you.

Drama much, you must be thinking. Life is full of dramas every single day, if you notice it. Every single thing is a drama of its own, unfolding itself in front of the individual involved. It is how one sees it and deals with it, as they will always be present in life itself.

I am the type who keeps my promise. I think you do know that by now, and many other things about me. I promise you the biscotti (a whole tub) which you love, they are ready freshly baked, whenever you want to collect it. I am on 12hrs shift from this weekend till I do not know when, 7pm to 7am. I have left the biscotti attached to your name with my reception at 24th floor, collect it whenever, please do not worry, you would not see me. If you decided not to collect, I will just trash it as nobody will be able to appreciate it, your acquired taste for salt.

I do not want things or our friendship to end like this. But I think you are not be comfortable. But you have called it quits. I guess I should have learnt it by now, abandonment. It happened once before, and i guess many more to come, in my life.

I will miss you and our friendship. Good luck in life. Be truly happy. Smile when you really feel it. Laugh when you truly feel it. Take care of your health and body, I have been worried about you and I still do. Goodbye and best endeavours in all you do in life.

J


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yup, I have been pegged as a weirdo outright by another fellow being. A first in my three-score odd years. I have always understand and known myself as abnormal in many ways. Thinkings, perspectives, morals, principles and many others. However, my conscience is clear and the decisions I made, they did not harm others. Maybe just myself, in consequences to bear. At least, I did not fail anyone else, just myself in ways.

Twisted, one may think I am...probably...I am one twisted masochistic sonofabitch. *laughs* I am not proud of it, it is just reality in my life.

To me, Love is something special and precious in life. I respect it with my whole being. And I respect the individual, whom I fall in love and love, for who you are and will be. Because who you are, is the person whom I fell in love in and continue loving in life. Change is the only constant in life. Why change the person who you have fallen in love with? When he or she is the person whom you love. Many do not understand this fact or sometimes misunderstood its actual meaning.

Foolish it may seems to others, but I did not regret it. Making things and feelings clear.

Principle of mine: Never to regret any decisions that I made. I would rather take the chance and do it, than to regret that I did not do it, later in life.

Maybe this is why no one can endure or stay long with me. Stubborn of me? Maybe. But I did not hurt anyone for it. I bear all of the consequences so far, in my life. Only those friends who know the real me, they understand me. I have many friends in my life, but not all truly know me. I am not the sort who opens my heart door to others. Not easily understood by people.

All I can say, my friend, I wish all the best endeavours in life and hope that things will become better for you in life someday. It might be soon or not, do not give up or lose patience. I am sorry that things have become like this, but I am not sorry for who I am. You are still a friend, whom I accepted you as who you are.

Though I have not told you the complete story of my past. Yes, I did cut off all connections from her, to save myself, my sanity and broken heart. But my soul and mind still exist with her existence for the last 5 years, which I have come to terms that she was a part of my past and continues to be part of my memories, both good and bad. I have never denied her existence. I continue to live with it for the rest of my life. Adding more memories of my own, creating mine into my memories.

Coward maybe. Stubborn maybe. But this is me, part of who I am, in this life. I thought there might be someone who accepts me for who I am, in this life. *sad laughs* Apparently it is just a wishful thinking part of mine.

There are more to be said, understand. But for now, I think it is pointless and meaningless to say further, when you have already opinionized me in your own perspectives. No more said will be understood and taken in further.

Nada..zero..zilch..nothing..
Life still has to go on..

~ M.Y. ~
November 23rd 2013

Daily inspiration..#49..

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
~ Phyllis Diller

Daily inspiration..#48..

Character is the result of two things: mental attitude and the way we spend our time.
~ Elbert Hubbard

Daily inspiration..#47..

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.

~ Benjamin Franklin

I Never Told You..Colbie Caillat..

I Never Told You by Colbie Caillat

I miss those blue eyes
How you kiss me at night
I miss the way we sleep
Like there's no sunrise
Like the taste of your smile
I miss the way we breathe

But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in

And now I miss everything about you
I can't believe it, I still want you
After all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you, whoa...

I see your blue eyes
Every time I close mine
You make it hard to see
Where I belong to
When I'm not around you
It's like I'm not with me

But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in

And now I miss everything about you (still you're gone)
I can't believe it, I still want you (And I'm lovin' you, I never should have walked away)
After all the things we've been through (I know it's never gonna come again)
I miss everything about you
Without you, whoa...

But I never told you
What I should have said
No I never told you
I just held it in

And now I miss everything about you (still you're gone)
Can't believe it, I still want you (And I'm lovin' you, I never should have walked away)
After all the things we've been through (I know it’s never gonna come again)
I miss everything about you
Without you, whoa, no, no...

Somewhere Only We Know..Keane..

Somewhere Only We Know by Keane

I walked across an empty land

I knew the pathway like the back of my hand

I felt the earth beneath my feet

Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing where have you gone?

I'm getting old and I need something to rely on

So tell me when you're gonna let me in

I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree

I felt the branches of it looking at me

Is this the place we used to love?

Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have you gone?

I'm getting old and I need something to rely on

So tell me when you're gonna let me in

I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go

Talk about it somewhere only we know?

This could be the end of everything

So why don't we go

Somewhere only we know?

Somewhere only we know?

Oh simple thing where have you gone?

I'm getting old and I need something to rely on

So tell me when you're gonna let me in

I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go

Talk about it somewhere only we know?

This could be the end of everything

So why don't we go?

So why don't we go?

Ah-ah-ah

Ah-ah-ah

This could be the end of everything

So why don't we go

Somewhere only we know?

Somewhere only we know?

Somewhere only we know?

Daily inspiration..#46..

We are all here to walk each other home.
~ Ram Dass

Daily inspiration..#45..

There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.
~ Aristotle

Daily inspiration..#44..

He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.
~ Bob Marley

너도 나처럼 (I Wonder If You Hurt Like Me) - F.Scott Fitzgerald`s Way Of Love..2AM..

너도 나처럼 (I Wonder If You Hurt Like Me) - F.Scott Fitzgerald`s Way Of Love by 2AM

하루종일 니 생각만 하다가

Ha-ru-jong-il ni saeng-gak-man ha-da-ga

한 가닥 눈물이 멋대로 주르륵 흐른다

Han ga-dak nun-mul-i meot-dae-ro ju-reu-reuk heu-reun-da

걸음걸음 니 모습이 밟혀서

Geol-eum-geol-eum ni mo-seub-i balb-hyeo-seo

일을 하다가도 나도 모르게 또 흐른다

Il-eul ha-da-ga-do na-do mo-reu-ge ddo heu-reun-da

(우후후후후) 노래를 불러도

(U-hu-hu-hu-hu) no-rae-reul bul-leo-do

(우후후후후) 거리를 걸어도

(U-hu-hu-hu-hu) geo-ri-reul geol-eo-do

(우후후후후) 온통 니 생각 뿐인데

(U-hu-hu-hu-hu) On-tong ni saeng-gak bbun-in-de

너도 나처럼 이렇게 아픈지

Neo-do na-cheo-reom i-reoh-ge a-peun-ji

너도 나처럼 눈물 나는지

Neo-do na-cheo-reom nun-mul na-neun-ji

너도 하루종일 이렇게 추억에 사는지 꼭 나처럼

Neo-do ha-ru-jong-il i-reoh-ge chu-eok-e sa-neun-ji gook na-cheo-reom

억지라도 웃을 일 참 많은데

Eok-ji-ra-do us-eul il cham manh-eun-de

태엽 인형처럼 주어진 일처럼 웃는다

Tae-yeob in-hyeong-cheo-reom ju-eo-jin il-cheo-reom ut-neun-da

(우후후후후) TV를 보아도

(O-hu-hu-hu-hu) TV-reul bo-a-do

(우후후후후) 친구를 만나도

(O-hu-hu-hu-hu) chin-gu-reul man-na-do

(우후후후후) 온통 니 생각 뿐인데

(O-hu-hu-hu-hu) on-tong ni saeng-gak bbun-in-de

너도 나처럼 이렇게 아픈지

Neo-do na-cheo-reom i-reoh-ge a-peun-ji

너도 나처럼 눈물 나는지

Neo-do na-cheo-reom nun-mul na-neun-ji

너도 하루종일 이렇게 추억에 사는지 꼭 나처럼

Neo-do ha-ru-jong-il i-reoh-ge chu-eok-e sa-neun-ji ggok na-cheo-reom

매일을 웃으니까

Mae-il-eul us-eu-ni-gga

웃는 모습만 보여주니까 내가 행복한 줄만 아나 봐

Ut-neun mo-seub-man bo-yeo-ju-ni-gga nae-ha haeng-bok-han jul-man a-ni bwa

어떻게 웃어 내가 어떻게 웃어 니가 없는데

Eo-ddeoh-ge us-eo na-ega eo-ddeoh-ge us-eo-ni-ga eobs-neun-de

웃어도 웃어도 눈물이 또 흘러

Us-eo-do us-eo-do nun-mul-i ddo heul-leo

너도 나처럼 이렇게 아픈지

Neo-do na-cheo-reom i-reoh-ge a-peun-ji

너도 나처럼 눈물 나는지

Neo-do na-cheo-reom nun-mul na-neun-ji

너도 하루종일 이렇게 추억에 사는지 꼭 나처럼

Neo-do ha-ru-jong-il i-reoh-ge chu-eok-e sa-neun-ji ggok na-cheo-reom

As I think only of you all day

A single stream of tear flows on its own

Step by step, I see you

So even as I work, tears flow without me knowing

Even when I sing

Even when I walk the streets

I’m filled with thoughts of you

I wonder if you hurt like me

I wonder if you cry like me

I wonder if you live all day in memories like me

There are many things to laugh about forcibly

Like a wind-up doll, like it’s my job, I laugh

Even when I watch TV

Even when I meet my friends

I’m filled with thoughts of you

I wonder if you hurt like me

I wonder if you cry like me

I wonder if you live all day in memories like me

Because I smile every day

Because I show my smiles,

They think I am happy

But how can I smile, how can I smile without you

I smile and I smile but tears flow again